Yours jokes

Just to an orphan.

Orphan: You're stupid.

You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.

Hi, I did not get your walk.

Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Bagel."

"Bagel who?"

"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"

What kind of chair inhabits your soul?

A hair!

Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!

I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.

Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!

Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?

What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.

Why do jeans always compliment your booty?

Because they’ve got your back!

If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

Your hairline is so far back, a pilot thought it was an airplane.

BREAKING NEWS

All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.

The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.

You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.

Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.

Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.

What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in your dirty laundry!