Yours jokes

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?

Nacho cheese.

Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.

Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.

I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?

What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?

"Open Your Heart."

Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

You look like your mom and your dad had a child.

What did the grape say to the rapper?

"You're so VINE, you must be on the JUICE!"

Your hairline is more curved than James Charles' gender.

What do you call your retard friend?

A homie with an extra cromie.

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

Your hairline is like the economy, it's going down.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"