Yours jokes

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?

"I am your father!"

"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."

"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."

You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

2, 4, 6, 8, you're staying up too late.

2, 4, 6, 8, all I do is master bait.

Person 1: Do you know Imagine Dragons?

Person 2: Yeah.

Person 1: Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!

Son: Dad, how was I born?

Dad: Your mum's a hoe.

Son: OK, what's a hoe?

Dad: Your mum.

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

Your mama is so fat, she broke the stairs to Heaven.

I couldn't think of anything because you're in the "countryside."

Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

If you're a girl, please comment.