Yours jokes
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
This joke is short... like your dick!
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
John, I like your cut, G.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah.
I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I've been broken, heart's contentious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost and I'm found, but It's torture being in love. I love when you're around But I fucking hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah.
Your momma's so fat that she is the Earth!
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”
Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."
Your forehead is so big you could land a plane on it.
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!