Yours jokes

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.

Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!

Type this in your calculator:

5 days a week (type in 5),

6 different classes (type in 6),

7 hours a day (type in 7),

x

2 semesters (type in 2),

=

flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).

So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.

So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"

So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!

Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,

I hope you're fucking happy.

Hi, my name is Moo, what is your name? Moo.

Your hairline is pushed back farther than G.T.A. 6.

You're built like a Windows touchscreen!

Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.

If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.

Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

Your forehead is so big that I can’t even see your hairline, and your stupid forehead face.

A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"

What is an orphan's favorite video game?

"Who's Your Daddy?"

Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your forehead.

I think I need to kiss your butt.

If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.

Biden: *falls over on steps*

You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"

The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."