Yours jokes
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Boy: I'm dead.
Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?
Boy: No, I was just born this way.
You're so skinny that people can't even see you.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
Women, you're a marshmallow because you're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
Bully: Your fat.
Me: Fat is something to fix, but your face isn't.
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
Your hairline goes so far back that it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
What is a good night's sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk walk home from school. Was your time I had dinner night night? Dinner night, is it fun for me? I o I had dinner.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Police: *Arrests me*
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.
Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.