Yours jokes
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
Why are school shooting jokes so funny? Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.
And your IQ is 5.
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.