Yours jokes
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Roses are red, violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there with you, But not in the cage, but laughing at you.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
Can I put my balls in your jaws?
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.