Yours jokes
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"
Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus
Dislike if: - You are horny.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!