Yours jokes

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

If the noose breaks, stab yourself!

If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!

If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*

What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?

"You're too young to smoke!"

That's not even a bad joke-

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

Ukraine (🇺🇦) vs Russia (🇷🇺), place your bets!

Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.

Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"

Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...

What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?

"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.

Your forehead is so big it drips pickle juice!

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

Your hairline looks like the Antarctica waves.