Yours jokes
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
What’s cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.
Bro, your hairline is still missing. Even Dora the Explorer can't discover it!
Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.
Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.
Warning! Cringe Alert!
What happens when you leave your phone at jail?
It becomes a cell phone.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!