Yours jokes
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.
You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
Go to the replies, look at the top and it will say "in your mum."
Your mama is so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep.
Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.
Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
Like if you're gay.
Like, and comment if you're single.
Mamma mia abortion clinic!
Your loss is our sauce.
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!