Yours jokes
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Your dad left for the milk because of your McDonald's hairline!
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
Your hairline looks like Thanos snapped your hair out of existence.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
When life gives you melons, You’re probably dyslexic.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.
The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"
The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."
The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."
The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"
The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."