Yours jokes

Man

21 views ·

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

War

13 views ·

"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Mother

26 views ·

"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."

- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*

Lag

35 views ·

"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."

-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Weight

4 views ·

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Nut

4 views ·

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

Dislike

3 views ·

Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.

Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.

Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.

Brain

8 views ·

You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

Whale

3 views ·

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

Abortion

56 views ·

The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"

The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"

The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"

The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"

The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.