You're jokes

I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"

Jimmy: "That's great!"

Doctor: "A horse with cancer."

What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Apaches.

Apaches who?

Apaches on your eye.

When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.

The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.

Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.

My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"

What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow

Me: Your ugly...

Person: I'm not your mirror...

Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p

"Your pussy is sweeter than Mom's," Brother admired his sister.

"I know," replied Sister. "Father told me too."

There's something on your chin. No, not that one, the third row.

Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.

You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.

Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Super Power Beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.

Splat.

The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”

If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.

What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?

Telling your parents you are gay.

Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.

Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"