You're jokes
Your mamma's so stinky that perfume leaks where she puts it on.
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
Keep rolling your eyes and maybe you'll find a brain back there.
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock.
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo.
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
I found the comments before the picture of you got reported, and yes, with all my heart, there was a picture of you in your bra! But I was on your side, so was Kenya, Prince, and Heo! And Mariah, more will be in soon!
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
Mrs. Duncan knows where you live. She lives there too. In your basement... lolololololololololololololololololol
I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.
Friend: "Your jokes are too short."
Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."
Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."
Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."
Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)