You're jokes
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
Your hairline is so far, too far, even dark humored jokes are scared of it.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
You're so ugly, even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than you!
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Your mom's so fat, she fell.
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
New degree plans announced by Cornell University:
- Frat Studies, includes classes in acquiring ketamine and arranging threesomes with your homeboy and some random girl.
- Sorority Studies, includes classes in oral sex, binge drinking, and bullshitting after the fact.
- Consent Theory, teaches the new generation that "Yes" means "No" and your problems can all be solved by regretting your own poor decision-making (the shop's still open btw).
"What’s your name?"
"Am erica."
"No, I asked for your name, not your country."
China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.
"China getting this dick in your mouth 😂"
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.