You're jokes

Are you Shane Dawson?

Because I can be your pussy.

How fast is the speed of sex?

68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.

Your hairline goes as far back as the cavemen. Your forehead is also as deep as the cave.

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

How do you know you’re at a gay church?

Half the congregation is kneeling.

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.

Sister, you're ugly.

Other sister: I'm not your reflection.

PS. Sorry if it is not funny.

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Ok, Seek, you're it. Me and Hide will hide.

Seek: Why do I have to be the seeker?

Figure: Because your name is in seeker.

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.

You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.

Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.