You're jokes
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...
Your face!
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
Suicide gives you security for the future.
Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
Your life is the best joke ever.