You're jokes
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
Suicide gives you security for the future.
Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
Your life is the best joke ever.
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.