You're jokes
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.