Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
I'm sorry but your dad left for milk.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
My Friend said having sex is alot like your first football game
Your bloody and bruised but at least your dad was there
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."
