Your dad jokes
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.