Your dad jokes

Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.

Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?

Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?

They are both off the map.

Your dad must be a mailman.

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?

Mom: No, that's impossible.

Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?

Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.

Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^

My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.

You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.