Dad jokes

Dad Jokes

Dad

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."

Bee

Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?

Because they use honeycombs.

Memes

Mom

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

Soda

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

Leave

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

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  • Parent

    Having homosexual parents must be terrible.

    Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".

    Dad

    What makes a joke a dad joke?

    I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.

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  • Dad

    I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

    I’m a faux pa.

    Dad

    My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

    Map

    Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

    Emo

    - The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

    - How did the gay person die? Homicide.

    - Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

    - When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

    - I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

    - I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

    - How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

    Dad

    I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.