Dad Jokes

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."

What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?

The letter b.

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Woman!"

What do we want? Racecar noises!

When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?

Because they use honeycombs.

Why did the son go to the store?

To find his dad.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

Having homosexual parents must be terrible.

Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".

What makes a joke a dad joke?

I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.

Why can’t an orphan make a joke?

Dad jokes.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?

Condoms.

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

I like telling dad jokes.

He laughs at most of them.

I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.