Dad jokes

Dad Jokes

Dad

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."

Mom

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

Soda

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

Bee

Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?

Because they use honeycombs.

Leave

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

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  • Dad

    What makes a joke a dad joke?

    I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.

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  • Parent

    Having homosexual parents must be terrible.

    Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".

    Dad

    I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

    I’m a faux pa.

    Dad

    My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

    Map

    Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

    Emo

    - The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

    - How did the gay person die? Homicide.

    - Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

    - When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

    - I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

    - I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

    - How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

    Dad

    I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.