You jokes

What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?

(Insulin)

What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?

A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

What do you call a male ladybug?

Trans.

Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?

Sanity to live: I don't know?

Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!

Sanity to live? *dies*

Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.

Sanity to live: *resurrected*

Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...

(sponsored by jumping bridges)

What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?

A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)

Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?

It was called "S & N."

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up, dog?"

Nothing much, how about you?

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!

What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?

"Gene-ious!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.

What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?

Noise!

"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.

Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.

What did one ballsack say to another?

"You stay here, I'll go pee."

Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.