You jokes

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

Shush, you schmuck! Please read!

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

You die. LOL!

Orange you glad you are not a comedian?

I posted on my Facebook account that you have a picture on Facebook.

I always press the stop button to see you.

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

But numbers can. (Lol)

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.

That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.

Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

You add words = bullshit.

Look under...

Under where?

You just said underwear!

You want to hear a joke?

Your mom.

Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.