You jokes

What do you call a person with no body or a nose?

Nobody knows.

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

Why did you and Sarah break up?

'Cause she cheetahed on me.

What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?

You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)

Never mind. You won't understand.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Annabeth: "Percy, whaters up with you?"

Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.

You're so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller.

What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?

White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!

What do you call Aston?

Asston.

Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?

They're the same thing.

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?

What do you call sex with a hoover?

Clean sex.

What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.

If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.

You have the rest of your life to figure it out.

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.