You jokes
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.
You're so fake, Barbie was jealous of you!
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
"Fuck you, do something about it!"
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
What do you say to a black midget?
Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
What do you call an orphan at the dinner table?
Family dinner!