You jokes
What do you call a cute door? A-door-able!
How do you anger a Libertarian?
Don't tell him the truth.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
You are so white even Nippon Paint tried to sign you!
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What do you call an apartment full of black people?
A CON-dominium.
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.