You jokes

Spare.

You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

This car in RC-XD.

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

Kid: Imagine being an orphan!

Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*

Kid: WAIT, WHAT!

What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?

A family portrait/A selfie.

How do you talk to giants? Using big words.

If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.

What did one skeleton say to another?

...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?

What do you call a Punjabi that’s drowning? Mandeep.

Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.

Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

Answer: Your right elbow.

What do you call a burned Mexican? A fried torteya.

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.

Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?