You jokes
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.