You jokes
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
You're so skinny that people can't even see you.
How do you give an "Alabama Girl" a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, NICE TOOTH!"
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fuck you, that's why.
You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
Roses are red, I'm off the grid,
John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
What say the child to the man? Shalom.
Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"
Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"
Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.