You jokes
People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.
Q: What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A: A pool table.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
Memes
What did Charizard say to Arceus? "Knife to meet you, literally. I got you out of Pokémon Sword and Shield!"
What do you say to someone's mom?
"You mom gay."
Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.
Trashy pig woman: Why?
Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
When you split Uranus in half, it is "ur-anus." That's why it has a butts joke. Weird.
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
What do you call a dog that can fly? A magic dog!
What do you expect when you get out of a bar?
Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.