You Jokes

Pizza

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

Skinny

You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.

Trash

"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."

Hospital

Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"

Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"

Poo

POO I LOVE POO.

Here’s my song:

“Poo poo poo pooo pooe poop poop poopy.”

Thank you!

Cancer

What did the cancer doctor say?

You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!

Butt

This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."

Trash

Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!

If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.

Dynamite

"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."

"Oh no, I won't!"

"Oh yes, you will!"

"Oh, I won't!"

"Oh yes, you will!"

"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."

Addiction

Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?

"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol

Bird

Time for double joke Tuesday.

What is a bird's favorite letter?

A C gull.

So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.

Kid: You're a dick, you know!

Me: And you're a pussy, you know?

Adoption

Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.

Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?

Son, you're adopted!

Baby

How do you know your baby is dead?

It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.