You jokes

How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?

So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"

What do [you] call Tyler Brown?

A spaz.

What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.

Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?

Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.

Have you heard about the movie about constipation?

Me neither, it hasn't come out yet.

What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.

Girl: You are gay.

Boy: Who says I’m gay?

Girl: You ARE GAY!

Boy: You are lesbian.

Crowd: OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhbhhhbhH

Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.

The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.

So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"

Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.

The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."

She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"

How do you know if a comedian is high?

Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.

What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.

Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!

What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?

A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?

Face-Timing My Girlfriend:

"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*

When your girlfriend tells you she's a guy: "What, bitch? Naw, hell no!"

You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!

What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?

ONESY.

“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.

When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?