You jokes
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
Who are you?
Oh, I'm an orphan!
Oh... bye! :/