You jokes

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?

Cooking the vegetables.

What do you call a person with a hole in their head? Dead.

When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?

Just barely hugging you! Lol.

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

Dear Kenya, love of life,

Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!

Love you a million times more!

What are two things you could call a fart?

"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

What did the orphan say to his mom?

Where are you?

Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?

Are you kidding me?!?

What did the pen say to the pencil? You have a point.

What do you call a pig who does karate?

Pork chop!

When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?

SHUT UP!!!

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"

The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"

My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.

Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!

My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.

Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...

What do you call chill legumes?

Hippeas.

Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?

Because it wasn't born yesterday!

If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...