You jokes
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
"Boiled ham" is what you call a dead Russian.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"
School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.
You were born out of your dad.
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.
What is 8 divided by 2?
Answer: 3 (you cut 8 in half).
Hi guys, jokes for sister.
So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.