You jokes

Hey girl, are you a wizard? Because you cast lit in my Final Fantasy!

There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"

If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.

Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?

Neither has he.

What do you do when you made a misteak?

You do some yoga 🧘‍♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."

What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?

If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.

Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?

Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.

What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.

That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...

Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.

Q: Why can't you run through a campground?

A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?

Nose-less.

Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!

Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.

What do you call a bloody pig?

HAMorrhage!

Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.

You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!

GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.

A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

What is a difference between a tree? Tree 🌲 was the day you get.