Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
You Jokes
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?
Because it is circle.
Guys, can you like my jokes, please?
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
I did ap.
I did ap who? (I did a poo)
EEWW you did a poo???
The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.
I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.
"Boiled ham" is what you call a dead Russian.
If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."