You jokes
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
I would create an orphan website...
But you need a home page to do that.
(Since somebody stole this joke before) 🤷♀️
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
Someone: Hey, are you a skeleton?
A skeleton: Of course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans!
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and you can drive.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?
Did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.