Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.
*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*
You Jokes
What did the bank say to the person?
Bank you very much.
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
What job lets you kill the most people?
An abortion doctor.
Why is a tree brown?
If you are thinking about this, you are racist.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
What do you call a crying dick?
I call it a crying dick.
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon