You jokes
I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.
I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.
Wanna hear a paper joke? You know what, probably not because it’s TEAR-able! :/
I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
Memes
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
What do you read on Halloween?
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"
The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."
The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"
The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Honda? Just the Honda.
What do you say when you sister's annoying you?
Go oasis (go away sis)!
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
What is you you?
Q: What do you call a clean idiot?
A: Soap on a Dope.
What do you call frozen web?
A web-cicle.
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.