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You jokes

If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?

Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?

Person B: Tentacles?

Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*

All-star gay mix

Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.

Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.

So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.

The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

  • 2

    • Dad: Son, you're adopted.

    Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

    Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

    Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

    Friend B: "I was until last night."

    Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

    Friend B: "Your sister."

    Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

    Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

    Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

    Wife: In a detective novel.

    What do you call a 3 humped camel?

    Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀

    Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.

  • 8

    • Pewdiepie: I am the best YouTuber ever!

    T-Series: Go away you f***!

    Man A: "Is Google male or female?"

    Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."

    Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

    Students: "Meat."

    Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"

    Students: "Bacon."

    Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"

    One of the students: "Homework!"

    Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.

    What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀

    My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.

    Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!

    My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.

    Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...

    Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?

    Because they’ve got guardians!

    What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!

    Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!