Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
You Jokes
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.
Teacher: Why are you late!
Girl: I need my beauty sleep.
Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said, "Go away, you won’t bring it back."
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until they see their parents.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Do you want to hear a joke?
You.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
You wanna hear a construction joke?
I'm still workin' on it!
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
I know where you live! I saw you before!
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
