You jokes
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?
Jah Bless.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.