Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅
You Jokes
You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
You are the gayest.
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
What did the wall say to the wall?
"Meet you at the corner."
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DABDAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB.
If you like penis.
Fuck you and your shitty family!
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Friend, you're bold and fat.
Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.
Your mum is stupid, just like you.
Yo mama so fat, One Punch Man had to punch 3 times.
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"
"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"
Your forehead is so big that Mastermind thought you were his long lost brother!
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Why is basketball called basketball?
Because you play with a basket.
