Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
You Jokes
So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"
Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"
Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
