You jokes
Never mind if I told you, it would go straight through your head.
"Beast Boy Four"
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
What do you call a group of emo kids? Suicide squad.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
You call it Hell. I call it Saunaworld DX.
What do you call a group of depressed people? The Suicide Squad.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.