You jokes
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
What do you call a lanky yellow man with abnormally large ears? Zac! Hahahahahahahahahahah
What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Your dad has a huge PP.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
What do you call a room with no doors?
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"
What does Pikachu and an orphan have in common?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."