You jokes
I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
Random words in my keyboard:
The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo of himself?
A family photo.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A Juan on Juan.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.