You jokes
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What do you call a black guy on the moon?
YOU RACISTS! An astronaut!
What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?
Special forces.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
Like if you like school (I mean if you don't)!
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
Did you know every market in Africa is a black market?
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."