You jokes
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.