You jokes

I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"

So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

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  • A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

    After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”

    She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

    To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

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  • Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.