There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
You Jokes
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
What do you call a retard?
"Kahin."
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
This is mean af. Y'all need to stop this. Like, what the f *ck? What would happen if you all grew up and you were like this? Like, damn.
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."
Fell Sans: Welp, you're BONED!
Fell Papyrus: DAMN YOU SANS!!!
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"