"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
