So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
You Jokes
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, do you take him to PC World or A&E?
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.
My friend had no school because of heavy snow.
Guess you could say it was a snow school day!
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What do you call a rich Chinese guy?
"Ching ching."
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.