*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
You Jokes
A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,
"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."
Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."
What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
How is being gay like a geology class?
You get to lick all the rocks you want.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
All you need is a razor blade in life.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. XD
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
You people are sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! None of these are funny. Sick sick sick!!!!!!!
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!