What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
what do you call fallen water a waterfall
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
What did one Justin say to the other Justin?
- Fuck you.
What did the atom say to the other atom?
"Did you see the new Tron movie?"
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
