Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
You Jokes
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.