You Jokes

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

Did you know that the shovel was a groundbreaking invention?

Me: What do you call a group of retards?

Friend: Down town?

Me: Nope, target practice.

What did the lungs say to the cigar?

"You take my breath away..."

Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!

What is dumb, yo mama, you dumb stupid idiot?

What do you call high Mexicans?

Baked beans ;)

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.

What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.

What do you call a bad amputation?

A rip-off.

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.

Person:

Guy: You walk into a bar.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You meet a girl.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You guys go on a bed.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: She whispers into your ear...

Person: I'm a man!

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.

what do you call a drunken sailer?

arrested.

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

You want to hear a 9/11 joke?

I bet they did too!

A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?

What do you call a homeless orphan?

Homo-less.

When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

2001/9/11.