New You Jokes - Page 64 - Worst Jokes Ever

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

The first time you have a new phone, you have a different one. You can change your phone to a new phone, but it doesn’t change the phone, it’s just different. I think it will work. I just think it would look good, and then it would work, but you don’t know if it’s the right thing for the new one. You just know it’s the wrong. It’s a bad phone. It’s a new thing. It’s the same for different every day, but it doesn’t look, and I think so it’s not a good, but it works, so it’s different, so it’s different for the new phone, and it doesn’t have to work on it. It doesn’t matter to the same for you know it’s just the one but it doesn’t have the one that I can do a lot better and I can just use my new one, but it is not that the new iPhone, so you have the one that’s the other is that I have the same thing and it’s the same phone, but I have to get the new iPhone. I just want it and then you have a good and it’s a different number so it’s just like so it’s just one, but you know it’s not like I have the new iPhone so you know it’s just one so it’s a little more than just the one and it will get the new phone so it’s just easier and cheaper for the money but it won’t cost much more to pay off your car than to get the phone for the next two weeks weeks or even two years to to have the car car fixed so it’s easier and quicker and I will be happy I’m happy happy I’m so excited excited thank y all and I will talk soon and have you have an update as to the results soon thank ya again so far hope all goes all are good hope to be in your class today love and have you been in your dreams hope all your day too bye.

Did you know I'm a really fast reader?

I can go through a few stories in just a few seconds!

What do you call a gay guy on fire?

LGBBQ

Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?

I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!

Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

Dad: Well, how do you know?

Son: I found the adoption papers.

Dad: That is for your mum.

If you know, you know.

My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.

Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.

Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

Rizz

Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.

Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Your mom is fat and so are you.

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."