Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.
You Jokes
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
A man takes a boy into the woods.
Boy says:
"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."
The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
How do you make a plumber sad?
Kill his family.
My dad asked, "Where are you going?"
Me: "Back to the orphanage."
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.